You took from me

You took from me

By Jae Vel


You took from me 

Over and over 

You took from me 

You took years

You took my smile for a while 

You took my trust

You took my peace 

You took from me 

Over and over 

You took from me

You took my balance 

You took part of my sanity

You took my voice for so long 

You took a part of me 

 

You took from me

You never said why

You kept taking 

You never asked

You took from me 

Over and over 

You took my control 

You took my sense of self 

You took what I didn’t want to give 

You took my security 

You took from me

Over and over

You took from me

You took my choice 

You took my childhood dream

You took off my rose colored glasses

You took so much 

But you didn’t take my hope

You didn’t take my strength

You didn’t take my will

You didn’t take it all 

You took from me

Over and over 

You took from me

You took 

You almost broke me completely 

But you didn’t take all of me 

You didn’t take away my fight

You didn’t take my mind

You tried to take it all

But you didn’t succeed 

You took 

I survived 

You took 

I never gave 

You took

I forgave 

I found my voice

I found my smile 

You tried to take it all

You failed

I survived 

I rose again 

 

It’s Time (Jae Vel)

Because of you,

I forgot who I was,

and now,

because of me,

I will forget you.

 

I can’t be anything but me,

you can’t be anything but you.

Too much hurt has happened to go back,

Too much of everything has occured to reverse the pain.

 

You cause me so much pain, I cause you guilt…

let’s move on and let it be,

You and I will never be free

 

in this lifetime or even the next,

you will always be my biggest regret and

my greatest heartache…

 

Broken (J.Vel)

Broken  by J.Vel

Shattered glass

on the ground

Shards scattered

As her heart lay,

next to her

Slowly beating,

Slowly bleeding out;

Cleansing her heart

Of the pain

 

Floating above herself

Steadily gliding throughout

Watching the pulse decrease

Hoping the pain will disappear

The turmoil building inside;

The ache

 

Aching, craving

to hold him near again,

he tore her heart out

without a care,

never looked back;

never saw her slowly wither away…

The Eradication of You

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The Eradication of You

Countless times I have said I would never change my history
But days like today, I wish to be at liberty
Be free of you and free of this agony

If I could turn back the hands of time
I would delete you from my life
Choose the path without your voice,
Without your face,
without your penetrating gaze

I would return to that day our eyes first met
Strike you from my memory,
Hit reset

I would obliterate every memory you and I made
Each caress, kiss, glance and all the words we said

Every moment I spent awake thinking of you and
Dreams I spent with you dancing in my mind
All gone, a simple delete
and I would be at peace

I long for that less complicated option of my existence
Without you in it,
Not even a hint

You broke me and I cannot piece back all the shards of my heart
Shattered by your silence
By the absence of your touch

Yes, I would erase you
And feel no more… pain,
I would lose the perfect moments; just to forget you

And if one day, you read my verses
I want you to feel that torment
To be unable to reach out to me,
remember me and wonder what could have been

—(J.Vel 1/5/15)

Will You?

Will you?

If I fall,

Will you catch me?
Or
Watch as I hit the ground?

If I fall before you reach me,
Will you help me pick up the pieces?

If I lose myself in you,
Will you find me?
Will you extract the core of me and make me whole again?

I am not saying I have fallen ,
I am not saying I am completely lost,
I admit only to losing myself in the essence that is you

Under your spell, bit by bit; I am falling
I am trying to break the surface;
I cannot, will not, drown in you

I am losing myself in your hypnotizing gaze
Stuck in the void, losing my breath

If I lose, and give in to the need
Will you search for me?
And give me the kiss of life?

Will we both win?
Or
Will I lose you and never be whole again?

—(J.Vel) 1/5/15

I Killed a Man (J.Vel)

As I lay on my death bed I must confess; I killed a man today. Shot him thru the heart on this day of confessions. Though my intentions were only to free my soul of the anguish before I left this world; I killed a man instead. My words bursting with agony and with each one uttered, a piece of his heart fell apart until all that was left was a hole. A gaping hole in his chest where a heart beat happily just days before. I killed a man today and didn’t even know it until I let go of all the pain inside of me. The words poured out of my mouth quick and unrehearsed ; my brain unable to catch them all before they committed the crime. I killed a man today and yet he still walks the earth as I breathe the last breath of this life…

Excerpt from Ramblings of a Broken Soul (J.Vel)

I want to rip you out!

I want you to feel yourself being torn apart
I want you to feel some of this agony

Maybe that would make it more bearable

But you don’t care!

You see me,
I know you do
But you don’t look deep enough
You can’t see the torment within
You don’t care to look

To you I am a chapter already written and discarded
A rough draft, no longer wanted
And yet I wait for that time and place

A time and place
where you care